Saturday, October 20, 2012
Should I Tell My Friend Not To Marry her?
You know men generally don't like their close friends to date their sisters talkless of marrying them, but he's one I would have no qualms marrying any of my sisters. His drawbacks, I can say, are he's not the out-going type; definitely not the "It's Friday, make we hook up at..." kind of guy. In fact, at times, you practically have to lobby him to go out. In school, a babe even dropped him after a few months 'cos of that, said he was too much of an introvert.
As you may have already guessed, the problem is not with my guy. Rather, it's with the girl he's dating presently. In order not to drop clues as to his or her identity, let's just say that he had started dating her before we hooked back again - we were communicating via the occassional mail/phone call. And she turned out to be a friend of my wife (they were classmates in uni). She's a nice girl sha but my concern lies with the chick's past 'cos knowing my friend and from wetin I don see he's likely to pop the question.
She dated a married man for a good number of years starting from when she was in uni. The affair persisted after school and was even known by some in her class; one of her male classmates lived in the man's area. I got to know of this while I was then dating my wife and even now, my wife is not entirely sure she has broken up with the chap (She said she has but she had told my wife same in the past only for wifey to observe otherwise)
Additionally, she had a fling with a friend of mine which really pissed my wife off. This was before we got married, she had escorted wifey to my place and met my friend there. Incidentally, this was the first time I would meet her. Anyway sha, days later, my friend had slept with her. As I said, my wife was not impressed that she made it so easy for him.
Sorry for all the long story but I felt I had to give you the background to the issue. It's not like she's an aristo babe per se (though I can't really vouch for that) or now a committed born-again which would have made things easier; I mean, no one is perfect & we all have a past. However, I don't want my friend to be messed up by being involved with someone I could have prevented him from being with. The only thing missing from my guy's life now is a wife; he's in his 30s, has a fantastic job, and has money waiting to be spent by her.
She's 28 - 30. I'm swaying towards telling him o though my madam is of the opinion that her friend is a good girl at heart that has just made mistakes. She feels I'm imposing my principles on another man's relationship. Maybe that is so, but I know he would expect me to inform him of things such like this (He has already asked me on my take on her). If it were any of my jaguda friends, my lips would be sealed. I have been trying to make excuses for her 'cos I like her but explaining the years of the married man affair beats me.
Am I being too judgemental? I have made up my mind to tell him though I would like to read what others may think of this.