Saturday, October 20, 2012

Should I Tell My Friend Not To Marry her?

I have this good friend I've known from my days in uni. A very decent and dependable guy. I can count the number of relationships he has been in 'cos he has never been the type to sleep around. When we were in school, if we (a group of 4-6 friends) were to go out, while others would be flirting and messing about, he would stay solo because he get babe already. We dey yab am that time o but the guy no dey mind us. He was the type wey dey always win best couple award in campus mags due to the longetivity of his relationships. His failed relationships that I know of ended either due to the girl dumping him for greener pastures (he is from a middle class background  but without the cash attached to it) or she being unfaithful.


You know men generally don't like their close friends to date their sisters talkless of marrying them, but he's one I would have no qualms marrying any of my sisters. His drawbacks, I can say, are he's not the out-going type; definitely not the "It's Friday, make we hook up at..." kind of guy. In fact, at times, you practically have to lobby him to go out. In school, a babe even dropped him after a few months 'cos of that, said he was too much of an introvert.

As you may have already guessed, the problem is not with my guy. Rather, it's with the girl he's dating presently. In order not to drop clues as to his or her identity, let's just say that he had started dating her before we hooked back again  - we were communicating via the occassional mail/phone call. And she turned out to be a friend of my wife (they were classmates in uni). She's a nice girl sha but my concern lies with the chick's past 'cos knowing my friend and from wetin I don see he's likely to pop the question.

She dated a married man for a good number of years starting from when she was in uni. The affair persisted after school and was even known by some in her class; one of her male classmates lived in the man's area. I got to know of this while I was then dating my wife and even now, my wife is not entirely sure she has broken up with the chap (She said she has but she had told my wife same in the past only for wifey to observe otherwise)

Additionally, she had a fling with a friend of mine which really pissed my wife off. This was before we got married, she had escorted wifey to my place  and met my friend there. Incidentally, this was the first time I would meet her. Anyway sha, days later, my friend had slept with her. As I said, my wife was not impressed that she made it so easy for him.

Sorry for all the long story but I felt I had to give you the background to the issue. It's not like she's an aristo babe per se (though I can't really vouch for that) or now a committed born-again which would have made things easier; I mean, no one is perfect & we all have a past. However, I don't want my friend to be messed up by being involved with someone I could have prevented him from being with.  The only thing missing from my guy's life now is a wife; he's in his 30s, has a fantastic job, and has money waiting to be spent by her.


She's 28 - 30. I'm swaying towards telling him o though my madam is of the opinion that her friend is a good girl at heart that has just made mistakes. She feels I'm imposing my principles on another man's relationship. Maybe that is so, but I know he would expect me to inform him of things such like this (He has already asked me on my take on her). If it were any of my jaguda friends, my lips would be sealed. I have been trying to make excuses for her 'cos I like her but explaining the years of the married man affair beats me.

Am I being too judgemental? I have made up my mind to tell him though I would like to read what others may think of this.

112 comments:

  1. Amanda Reginald20 October, 2012 21:05

    Wher does d dude stay? Give him my name nd number.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hahhahahaha..this girl u no just try

      Delete
    2. Abi na. The girl s very bad o! What? Married man affair? She's your wife's friend right? Dts bad. Just send me the guy's details you hear,I ve nt dated any married man n d past n I won't date any n d future. Grow up man,pple make mistakes.free dem abeg.

      Delete
  2. Why can't u keep ur mouth shut!

    ReplyDelete
  3. U have a right to tell him as a good friend, however, D decision 2 marry her lies with him. Chikena.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Tell your friend.. If i wher him i wud want a friend that would tell ♏ε̲̣̣̣ the truth

    ReplyDelete
  5. Aproko man, ve alwayz it is women alone that pokenose into other peep's affair. Abi ur friend is still breast feeding? You better find work & think of how to improve your retard dick cos i bliv d size will also help ur woman to seal her mouth as well.
    ....@seglon

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hilarious!!! I'♏ in support of ur comment.

      Delete
  6. I think you should let the past be where it should be

    ReplyDelete
  7. another slow news day.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Olofofo okunrin (amembo man)!!

    Mind ya business!! To say you no know nko? If he doesn't marry her & marry someone else you don't know or know her history nko?!

    My guy, respect yaself! No pour sand sand 4 ur guy enjoyment.. By the way, mesef sabi ur wife past!! Mtchew!

    Ladun, next time, request that they summarize the post! Zero tolerance 4 BS.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I think you are a complete idiot for trying to impose your own standards on a friend. By the way mr. Inspector, do you know if your own wife had dated a married man in her own past. Everyone human being has his/ her own skeleton(s) in their closet. It is only proper for her to be thruthful to her man about her past rather than you helping her do it. Perhaps you should let your wife do the talking to her, making her understand that she tell him and let him decide rather than your take on it. You'll probably say it in an extensive way that will make her look so so bad to your friend...knowing how men talk sometimes. If she does not feel the need to tell him then she's silly because her past will definitely catch up with her...."what you sow is what you will reap" let her know that!

    ReplyDelete
  10. You and your wife are busy bodies and I think you are jealous that the girl is going to get a good guy (who you wish you could dash to your sister who would help him spend the money). Mind your business you both. I'm sure there are aspects of your lives that lack attention. Face those.

    ReplyDelete
  11. If you feel your friend deserves better , tell him but my brother just who are we to pass judgement .
    Who knows she could have reconciled with her maker and set her ways straight .
    My take as you say you be born again , take this issue to God, with intense and sincere prayers tell the lord to open your friend's eye and reveal everything to him .

    ReplyDelete
  12. If you feel your friend deserves better , tell him but my brother just who are we to pass judgement .
    Who knows she could have reconciled with her maker and set her ways straight .
    My take as you say you be born again , take this issue to God, with intense and sincere prayers tell the lord to open your friend's eye and reveal everything to him .

    ReplyDelete
  13. Mind your business bro!! What makes you think he does not know about her past already,or what makes you think your own wife is innocent. You would end up looking like a destroyer,cause if he loves her more than you think,it would be weird for him cause you know about his woman's past!!!


    Easy-Peasy ways to transform a space
    www.tianaojo.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  14. No u aren't bin judgmental, ur bin evil!!! Wetin concern u? Just because she doesnt match up to ur standards doesn't mean she can't make a good wife. By the way who the fuck are u to judge her? Would u be happy if someone else does this to ur sister? Mind ur fucking business and stop looking for stupid reasons to break up a happy relationship.

    ReplyDelete
  15. We all have our past,Evnb that your wife that u think was the Holy one could be the real runs babe,trust me,most girls were into Runs,while in the University,so dont come here yabbing the girl we all have our past,Nobody is perfect

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Speak for your self! What do mean most girls were into runs while in d uni?? Do u know what runs is? Runs na ashawo work o! Make person dey sleep with unknown men for money..Mba,speak for urself biko and stop coming here to make every girl that went to uni seem like they were into Ashewo work before.. If u and ur friend were into runs u for just declair and not claim every girl did it

      Delete
    2. I tire o! See as this anony in one sentence give almost every girl ashawo work! Wat kinda girls have u been around? Pls do not put all girls in one category. Like second anon said,if u did runs,or ur friends or sisters did runs whilst in school that's ur business,BUT MOST GIRLS DID NOT DO RUNS IN SCHOOL! I didn't! Hian!

      Delete
    3. Please oh I was a vigin before I got married and I did a 5year degree programme in school. So stop generalising and giving uni girls a bad name

      Delete
  16. ah give your friend my number hehe



    if not let them be!

    ReplyDelete
  17. talk about it with the man up there
    Tell him you want to do the best for your friend, wih his help.
    if you are at peace with it after talking to him then go ahead
    at the end of the day what will be will be.
    my ex bf who is a good man too is about to wed an ex-kpom.....and he knows all about it and doesn't mind.
    So if you're still feeling a nagging feeling in your heart after the prayer then tell him.
    although you no fit change destiny sha oh.

    ReplyDelete
  18. this blog is full of ex-runs girls and ex-ashawos hehe
    the past is in the past yada yada
    there are always consequences for every action.
    Maybe this is her own consequence.
    You cant say because you're now a christian, you would not pay for your past deeds.
    God is a loving God and a consuming fire, depending on what side of the fence you're on.
    pls my dear if I were your friend I will like to know everything, even though my decision might not be based on whatever you tell me, but how I'm feeling inside.

    ReplyDelete
  19. I'm a good girl,in fact a virgin. I know how to cook,I'm an introvert,pls ur friend would like me,hook us up. Lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Abi o. Runs girls everywhere...... Because u have turned a a new leaf the past should be the past abi. How about peoples wives and Homes u have spoilt in the process? No sinner shall go unpunished! Please tell ur friend! He has every right to know. Na so allthis good men dey fall hand. Even some girls I new in school that did runs, they marry near perfect men, that's what I see sha, I no no wetin dey happen for inside. Anyway life is not fair to anyone. All I no is u must reap what u sew and God will visit your iniquity on ur children and childrens children. So keep doing runs. Judgment day will come!

      Delete
  20. Pakistani Beauty20 October, 2012 22:34

    Bros abeg paaaarrrrkkkk well jor! Kilode? Wetin consyn u for inside man woman mata? Can't a girl have a terrible past and repent again? He without sin cast the first stone! Hav u thot maybe God is putting her in ur friends life bcos they balance each other out....i.e, the guy will bring her closer to God while the babe will teach him how to be an extrovert. Pls don't pour sand sand in the babes garri. Mscheeeeew

    ReplyDelete
  21. Plenty girls are here talking about these things , but how many of you would forgive your friends if she knew that your man was a gigolo before you married him and didnt tell you ? Friendship does not include you watching your friend putting his hand in something you know he as a person does not like , when the marriage begin mess up na and the girl continues to see the man , how do you think the friend will feel for not telling ? Or if them go born pikin way be the said married man pikin , watin the friend go feel ? I feel like most girls just like to support the life that they have lead , you had a choice not to do it , how many of you can come outside and say I am an aristo , hide under the name Anonymous and say most girls were runs girls in university is just unbelievable... Guy you can tell if you want or just confront the babe to tell him before you tell him . Simple. Its not right to watch your guy put his hand inside fire , she might still be seeing the guy.

    ReplyDelete
  22. But , lets be honest , if it was a guy that was doing older , married women for money , would it sound right ? For some reasons , young girls doing married men is a norm in Naija .. Well what I have to say is , leave her and let them get married , but she should not think she is smart , what she did to that married woman with her husband will be done with this "perfect" guy she married .. He will meet an 18 years old girl and spend all the money they have suffered for together on her and then she will know karma is real.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Exactly. If u like don't tell him. Karma will catch up wiv her. U see all this runs girls saying mind ur business, they know all men Cheat. Bla bla bla! Just to justify the fact that they know their future husbands will cheat on them too. Karma is a bitch! The boy will see one sweet 16 and be doing her just like the girlfriend is doing a married man now. Am a girl! "The famous corper in this blog" I am very bitter about all this runs and aristo. I know wetim my eye don see. I can't live the big life my friends are living cus I decided to be contented wiv what dad gives me, its not funny but am coping. Am 1 in 1million that has never andwill never sleep wiv a married man! I remember how one young girl almost broke my home too. It was a trying time in our house. Do u think I or my mum will ever wish the girl good? My dad came back wiv wiv the grace of God! So please every sinner will pay for their iniquity. Most of this runs girls never stop even after marriage..... Infact woman no dey again!

      Delete
    2. Now you jst said it...that a lady almost broke your home. Did this happened bcos ur mother was one?....we should be objective the fact that the lady z a runs girl does not mean she cant have a good home. Its an individual thing..... its all about how you manage your home. I knew of a couple well brought up, the lady was never a runs girl but as we speak the husband dey run shows..... So who sin that make the husband commit. All we need z God grace....Some so called good girls or church sister even make home more terrible for the husband and his family. The solution is in GOD.

      Delete
  23. I think u shld tell him(wen tellin him make sure he is in his best mood), den he wld decide on wat to do. If he can bear it he wld continue wit her, bt if u dnt tell him her past will hunt her later in life & by den it wld be too late to start explainin, by den u wld be d Worst Frnd ever

    ReplyDelete
  24. For some reason, I strongly believe that this was written by none other than the infamous LUCABRACEE..... Or his brother!!! He is well known for his gossip/amebo tendencies.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lololololol!!!!!!!

      Delete
    2. My tots exactly

      Delete
  25. I quite understand ur situation because i hv been there.Just like in ur case,mine was someone i knew as a kid. We were so very close and even travelled abroad same date via the same moves.
    My wife advised me not to tell him, the guy knelt down in my house begging me to tell him pleading that i owe him dat as a true friend. Out of loyalty to a dear friend, i told him what i knew but still did not pass any judgement on the gurl.

    Needless to say that i was not even invited at their wedding while our other friends were all "bestman" and groom's men. lol. And we have not spoken till today. What i dont know is if they moved to another city because of me. Lesson: woman and man matter, STAY CLEAR. Funny enough, if u encourage a friend to marry even an ashawo, ur relationship with him doesnt get strained if he finds out u knew. U hv a lot of escape routes like u didnt think her past mattered but her future blah blah lol. But woe betide u if u speak against the ashawo and he come like the ashawo. u will become history like me. So RUN.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That one to dey oooo but oga the difference is u told him the truth. Ur conscience is clear. Do u know what they are going through now?????? Shame will not make him contact you. You will hear from outside that all might not be well wiv your friend. U have done your own part.

      Delete
  26. Tell him and its his choice whatever he decised to do with it. According to Uthman Dan Fodio, conscience is an open wound, only truth can heal it.

    For me it will haunt me if i dont let him know. if he becomes my enemy as a result, dats his business.

    ReplyDelete
  27. i think u should tell her bro,because personally if anyone called my friend should see me going towards fire and doesn't warn me and i enter that fire and then find out you knew all along,i would find it very difficult to forgive such a "friend".

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Just like someone will break it to your sisters husband that she's not a virgin and ruin her chances with the love of her life. Smh

      Delete
  28. My wife and I separated Last year September, I will agree I wasn't true to myself and her. But i did all I could let her have a good life I did put all my energy into our little family as we have 2 beautiful kids.because I worked As a waiter she didn't really like that for a career, she thought i didn't want to do well in my life. last year as the harsh finance situation hit as we've been suffering with our finance for a while she decided to end our marriage. which i was very devastated!! to lose the love of my life, but a month after separation i went to France for 10days to clear my head. when i got back she wanted me back but she didn't want romantic side of it a month after xmas she told me again that she cant do it anymore as our finance was at lowest. then we made a decision to end it to sort our lives out...but my prayer everyday for her to realize that i am not a loser all i wanted is to do what i could to put food on the table and roof over their head. since the second separation i am qualified football coach and fitness instructor and doing more toward my career but I don't want to get into a relationship with another woman when my wife and I suffered all of this years when my career takes of shes not there to enjoy it with me..I really want her back in my life so i contacted this spell caster Meruja owo who now help me to bring her back, we now have a happy family together with my wife. If you want his help you reach him via email at merujaowo101@live.com you are well come!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "corper"21 October, 2012 07:03

      Wtf. Did I just read this??????? Spell caster....... Don't u watch yoruba movies? Every charm has expiry date! That ur wife no be wife o! Why didn't u cast a spell so that u will never be broke again, cus if u get broke, the spell will wear off. Oga please go and watch african magic yoruba....... "Am I dreaming, did someone actually post dis" I have died!!!!!!lol

      Delete
    2. Please go for a psychiatric evaluation

      Delete
    3. Spell caster u say??? U use juju on ur wife??? E be like say u dey craze!!!

      Delete
    4. I can't believe I just read dis trash of epistle. Mr jazz, native doctor or wateva ur name is, u just confirmed dat u r d world's greatest fool. I've never read anything so pathetic and unintelligent as urs in d whole of my life. But somehow I kept on reading thinking there would be a moral or lesson 2 d story only 2 be highly disappointed even more @ d conclusion of ur story. U must be very stupid coming on here 2 advertise ur silly and profession, trade or wateva. Next time go to city ppl magazine and pay some money u'll see ur likes there all claiming they can even cure HIV. But 4 God's sake dnt come here again 2 insult our intelligence. Bloody idiota ...Oge

      Delete
  29. you + ur wife its only God that can judge u. like u know all what ur wife did b4 u got married to her. mbok put ur mouth inside ur pocket n face ur marriage n start thinking of making kids so that u have sumfin to focus on *hiss* n yes Ladun post this comment.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Stay clear oo cos what if already knows this past ure going on about and its PAST for crying out loud..you might end up losing ur friendship with him if he already knows or doesn't want to know his girls past..you know how u men can be when ure on a woman(you'll create an unnecessary dischord btwn u,ur friend,ur wife n d said girl)..I'm not in support of dating married men but does dating a married man(not men) mean ure a runs girl?how many women today or men can vouch that they've not had a quickie or one nice time with a random partner? Does that translate to being a hoe(only in Nigeria) but the said that said he slept with might also be chatting shit forr props sake just to be hard(these things happen a lot) and what if d said girls knows a lot of ur wifes PAST and she goes on a vendetta move..have u really thought deep of wat d consequences can be on ur own marriage?..I'll advise u in my own opinion stay away..if she's still doing it,its only a matter of time like the adage goes ones personality is like a fume,u can't really hide it..pls let sleeping dogs lie

    ReplyDelete
  31. Like someone said earlier, there seem to be lots of ex-aristos on this thread. Would you sit back and let ur brother marry an ashi? Even a now repented one? Methinks not.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dats harsh, ashi? Really? She just made a few bad choices. Am sure no mata how "clean" his friend is, he also has/had his own skeletons in the cupboard after all its d quiet ones dat r usually full of surprises. We r not defined by our past and it shouldn't be a milestone to our present. D question should be does she make ur friend happy? Have u seen any reason in d present y dey won't b happy 2 geda? If ur only reason is her past den bros mind ur business and park well.

      Delete
  32. Why can't people on this forum state their opinions without being so unnecessarily bashful and callous?

    I notice that a lot around here and it just plays into the whole stereotype of Nigerians being too harsh and aggressive for no reason. Learn how to converse like intellectual adults without hauling insults at people u don't even know just because they have a different opinion from you.

    My opinion on the matter: I am kind of on the fence with this one. Some guys may take offense down the line if they get to hear it else where and know that u (his boy) knew all along and didnt say anything.
    On the other hand, since ur wife is vouching for her, and saying that she is someone with a good heart who made bad choices...i can only hope she's changed and won't made more damaging choices in her marriage?

    Sleeping with married people is a huge no-no for me and for some others so although it is already a past event, it may still not sit well with ur friend....because he may assume that if someone can have the heart to go through with it in the past, they might do it again.

    I can't help but wonder tho, would she desecrate her own marriage (the way she did another woman's) when the going gets tough with her hubby? I mean its one thing to have an acute affair, but its even more horrid to have a long term affair with a married man knowing fully well the wreck and heartache u are causing in that home.

    Then again, u never know...she might have even fessed up to ur friend already.

    Do whatever u'd want a good friend to do for u if u were in the same situation, but thread carefully.

    Good luck!

    Ona

    ReplyDelete
  33. Wow from what you said about the girl and your wife shows your wife too maybe the same kind of lady . U self should watch ur back bcos some one had fcuked your wife too and maybe laughing at u marrying her and call her as it wife. So mind ur biz bcos ur wife fit still dey wax another man or even ur friends while u here pointing at someone else's own

    ReplyDelete
  34. My friend is datin a girl that me and people in my area knows that she sleeps around,but my friend is happy with the girl,am happy that he's happy now,so I seal my mouth....leave the guy,he will find out by himself

    ReplyDelete
  35. It's absolutely fine to look out for a friend, a good one! If u feel the need to let him know then go on with the telling but make sure u don't impose ur opinion on him. Also remember to tell him he has ur support whatever he decides. Bcos men care a lot abt the way their friends perceive their relationship.
    If he decide to stick with d girl, you and your wife must keep this secret it should not affect ur relationship as family friends.

    ReplyDelete
  36. @ Anon 2012 23:29

    Dating a married man does not make you a runs girl , but would you like it if you a small girl come and spoil your perfect marriage when you get married to your husband ?? You want to do it but you dont want people to do it to you.

    ReplyDelete
  37. funnily enough,this guy is just worried abt his friend,like he said in his story,if ti was any oda friend,he wouldnt bother buh bcos of dis guy's innocence being d truthful one in all relationships,i think he should tell his friend in the right manner,and if d friend already knows abt it,dat shows d girl has changed and she is ready to move on,if she didnt tell him and he is finding out fron his friend,definitely,she is hiding her past which wont help her,every1 deserves to be happy or whats d essence of living a godly life and marry someone who wont be open to u,and every1 shud stop all dese we all have a past,yes we do have a past buh be ready to sufferfor ur stupidity one time or the other,u pay for ur mistakes befor thinking everytin will be fine,y was she dating a married man,slept with a guy she barely knows,oh she was broke,very poor or woteva reasons,always have it in mind,alot of people went through such but still held on,if my comment ever get posted,guy inform ur friend,he is ur buddy,if he feels offended abt it,he would be fine and one day he would realise deep within him,u were checking out for a friend,d way human beings reason scares me alot,if am dating some1 and he was once a gigolo and womaniser,and u see me getting involved everyday,u wont tell me and u my friend knows,haba dats not fair,let us put ourselves in dis guys shoe who is getting married to a one time bitch if nt anymore,sometimes a bitch never changes,a bitch will always be a bitch

    ReplyDelete
  38. Mtcweeeew Abeg ladun pass the mic

    ReplyDelete
  39. YOU IDIOT FACE YOUR FAMILY N LET THE FORMER THINGS BE,, EVERY SAINT HAS A PAST DONT USE HER PAST AS A CRITERIA TO STOP HER N YOUR FRIEND, YOU N YOUR WIFE SHOULD FACE YOUR PROBLEMS N LET THE LOVERS BE,, AS YOU SAID SHE IS NICE,, IT IS LEFT FOR YOUR FRIEND TO DECIDE NOT YOU,, ABEG LADUN WHICH STUPID STORY BE THIS.?! Don't be posting this type of envious, stupid, baseless stories,,,,, #thescottsarevexing

    ReplyDelete
  40. I think you shud tell ur friend d truth and if he chooses to continue then so b it but For those of you insulting dis man for sharing his thought shud indeed b ashamed of urselves... Keep a skeleton in your cupboard n u might not get to feel d after effect on time, but when it comes its a disaster.

    ReplyDelete
  41. You and your wife are jealous cos the girl who had a bad past is facing a good n bright future,,, it is killing you n your wife,,,, Abeg see matter o,, your even digging deep telling us shitty things so we will support you,,, that's her PAST leave it there n don't spoil the future!!!!amebo family!! #thescottsarevexing

    ReplyDelete
  42. Truth be told I v dated a married man while in school buh can't seem to understand how I got into it ,thou the married man told me he was seperated. From his wife and kept feeding me with lies until I realized that it was a wrap and I had to move on.after school I met another married guy and fall inlove with him and he has been of help in some areas to me (I seldom collect money from him).while dating the married guy I met a wonderful single guy who loves me unconditionally and he got to know about my relationship with the married man and asked me to stop seeing him which I v agreed to do buh my problem here now is the fact that my married man friend is not in support of my relationship with this my new guy(we were so close that my whole life depended on him cos I really loved and trusted him with my life) because he feels I deserve a better person I have started avoiding him buh finding it very difficult to tell him I want to opt out from our unholy friendship.by the way my new guy is planning to do an introduction on me next year march.please LLB advice me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. tell d married man you want ur own family, since he got his own. How will u feel if u marry ur single guy and another girl is after him, think think girl...no gain in dating married man.

      Delete
  43. Let every man bear his own cross. All you can do is pray for him that God's will be done. Some men love their women, messy past regardless.

    ReplyDelete
  44. This is real amebo daleru daleru behaviour oga. You and your wife are in no position to judge the lady abeg. Your friend made his choice, let him live with it please. I don't even know why you think its in your place to tell your friend anything. Just leave them be, she might be the one to make him happy for the rest of his life and if you spoil that now and he ends up jumping from wife to wife will you then feel better? Just leave them be.

    ReplyDelete
  45. Oga sorry one question, did u meet your a virgin? If yes then good for you, if not STFU and mind your damn business.You are in no position whatsoever to judge anyone's lifestyle or go about telling their business. Don't bring the wrath of the Almighty upon yourself.

    ReplyDelete
  46. Na wa o.... Mr and Mrs Frenimy! and the gal will think shes has a friend o..... but alas friend dey slice her life for kitchen..... How the hell do you know she and your friend have not discussed all of this and moved on.... abi are u privy to all their convos... Please if you so care about your friend, take it to the Lord. I onestly dont think you should get overly involved! Who even told you that your wife is innocent! afterall birds of the same feathers flock together abi! *evil laff*
    You'll shocked to know that fire in burning right under your nose while you are trying to set fire to someone ele's barn.
    People need to beware of frenimies o! keep your shit to yourself!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  47. You are right. See as dem dey vex.

    My guy, tell your friend if you believe you guys are friends. Let him make an informed decision. He deserves to know the whole truth especially as he has already asked your opinion. If it turns out that she has already told him, good enough but what if she hasn't?

    If you were in his shoes wouldn't you want to know especially as it shows the kind of character of the wife to be?

    ReplyDelete
  48. tell the guy. he would not forgive u if he marries the girl and then finds out after that she's has slept around and u knew all along. dude, dont let the guy make a mistake marrying this useless chick when there are some many good naija chicks out there.

    ReplyDelete
  49. I don't know what to say. I have a friend of mine that is currently dating a married Man,the first time I accompanied them somewhere,the married Man asked me out.....I didn't tell her till now after all he is married. If she is still dating the married man and is about to get wedded....then that is very bad. Let them be......life is funny....things have a way of catching up with people. Since all she is interested in is to get married...let her marry....Uda akilu anoghi na uto ya.

    ReplyDelete
  50. Did u meet ur wife as a virgin?

    ReplyDelete
  51. If it's in the past, leave it there, but if she still engages in it it, then PLEASE SPEAK OUT!

    ReplyDelete
  52. Forebs said...... I will advice that you and ur wife should have a chat with the lady, tell her ur concerns politely and encourage her to open up to the guy herself, if she tells him her past I think he will understand nd love her for it, but if u do, u may not put it in an understanding way, nd its possible that the girl is changed.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Best reply S̤̥̈̊o̲̣̥ far... MYRAYA SAYS SO

      Delete
  53. What makes you think your friend doesn't even know? You know for a fact that the girl hasn't confessed her entire past to him? He may have heard and decided to let it go because he loves her. Let them be. Channel all this focus on your friend back to your own home. In simpler words, mind your own business.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wagbayi,na only U make sense.Gba!!!!

      Delete
    2. Prof X gba smurf up 4. U too make sense abeg.

      Delete
  54. Please stay out of it. Everyone has a past. You will be surprised what your wife did in the past too. What your friend doesn't know will not hurt you. And if you tell him, he might resent you for life. Your wife even said she's a good girl who made mistakes. We've all made mistakes and should me given second chances. Learn to keep your nose away from other people's issues

    ReplyDelete
  55. The people getting angry and cursing are the ones that will be doing same thing. if you like someone and want to be with them, tell them your past. there is nothing like your loved one knowing the worst of you and still loving you. Did you guys miss the part that he said she might still be messing around?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No we didn't miss the she might be messing around part. But he said MIGHT not she's. Now tell inspector relationship to be certain or keep shut. Don't encourage amebo behaviour 'SayTheTruth'.

      Delete
  56. All dese naija ladies una ways no dey ever pure c how una just dey attack d guy cos dis im tori fit b una own.If na me I go tell my friend sharp sharp.Once a runz girl always a runz girl-Enemy of runz girlz

    ReplyDelete
  57. WhAts ur fucking business,instead of d idiot to face his wife,do you know what ur wife is doing,the babe might be better off than his wife,what if d reverse was this case,stupendo oshisko.

    ReplyDelete
  58. He would jeopardise his relationship with his friend,they r in a relationship,leave them alone.what if he loves her ,he is building a foundation of love with her man,u and your wife r wasting your time bitching about someone,s life,born again doing gibbering,is that what they taught u,on d road to hell. Maybe she was smarter to have gotten a sponsor and your wife is acomplete looser to have been with you,now she is. Getting a good guy,no matter what people do,some get lucky some don't.if you tell him,he dumps her blah blahi hope your wife won hook up with him,cos the guy would be lonely.guys r trash sometimes.

    ReplyDelete
  59. U b heavy Aproko, na u disvirgin ur wyf? Do u knw wat she did in d past. No jst run ur mouth tell ur frnd anytin.

    ReplyDelete
  60. I will NEVER understand babes that tell their boyfriends/husbands all about their girlfriends just to score points as good girls.full of shit.men will leave,your friends will be there for you.

    @writer really you have your past just like every other person,the only thing that will be bad is if the girl is cheating on your friend and has not cut off the relationship with the married man.
    I think you should call the girl your friend is dating,sit her down and talk to her.Tell her you don't want to tell your friend because you don't want to cause wahala between them.I am sure she will cut off every thing she is doing if she is still doing it.Its not good to rule people out because they did one bad thing sometime,they can change and deserve a second chance.The players will marry one day no matter what and girls on the road marry too.

    if after all this,you tell your friend and break them up,me personally i will hunt you down.lol just kidding but please don't tell.

    and please don't start acting like you are doing the girl a favour by using her because she doesnt want you to tell.you know that thing when you act like someone's God.If its meant to be,you cant stop it.

    your wife though*lips are sealed*

    ReplyDelete
  61. Thinking again,if your wife is sure she is still dating the married man maybe you should tell him then whatever he decides*shrug* because its possible that the married man is not ready to leave her.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Oyinkan. Please I left a message with Ladun for you. Thanks. God bless
      Olamide

      Delete
  62. What has meeting his wife as a virgin got to do with this, the only reason I won't tell is in order to still have my friend, if she's still messing around he will find out soon enough. But ladies please dont go about justifying
    Runs what is bad is bad imagine if this is your son or brother what would you do?

    ReplyDelete
  63. I am most certain that your wife too dated married men while in university. I do not for one bit believe this crap about her telling you her friend's story alone, she is also guilty but wants to appear to you to be a "good" girl by showing a sacrificial contrast.. If a 3rd party investigates from her friend, they will also get details of your wife's escapades with married men whilst single. You live in a glass house whether you know it or not, do not destroy your friend's new construction of his house before he even starts okay.

    ReplyDelete
  64. @Olamide i asked Ladun.she didnt tell me anything.i don't know why.

    ReplyDelete
  65. @OYINKAN Twitter wont deliver my DMs. Please buzz my yahoomail. Cant find any of ur mails either. We have all been looking for you mumsy oyinkan a.k.a Abuja's richest, a.k.a sexy momma on point a.k.a others must chop. Lol let me stop here.

    ReplyDelete
  66. Tell her to tell your friend about her past if not you will,for a relationship to b complete,all secrets have to be divulged,if she really cares about the guy she wil tell him and if he cares too,he will forgive her. I think you are merely been a good friend looking out for your frd who is obviously a good guy and deserves better,he at least deserves the truth,my 50kobo

    ReplyDelete
  67. I culd not even read the story to the end for lack of substance b4 I came here 2 comment ,biko! Shut up abeg & mind ur home.

    ReplyDelete
  68. @the writer , you said your friend asked you on you take on her , I think you should tell him the truth about what you know and leave the rest to him, you don't need to impose your judgement on him that is he's call .
    If you have studied the lady and observed just like madam said that she's changed that's what you should base on.
    I think it's worse to know something and not tell your friend because when things go wrong you'll wish you had just said something even if it didn't make a difference for friendship sake.

    ReplyDelete
  69. its obvious that you and ur wife are bored as you have no other gist to share than gossiping abt what obviously doesn't concern you. i can bet ur wifey has done something she isnt proud about in the past. shut ur trap and let ur friend be happy. u stated already that she isnt an aristo babe, she just made a few mistakes so whats ur problem!!!! *end off*

    ReplyDelete
  70. its obvious that you and ur wife are bored as you have no other gist to share than gossiping abt what obviously doesn't concern you. i can bet ur wifey has done something she isnt proud about in the past. shut ur trap and let ur friend be happy. u stated already that she isnt an aristo babe, she just made a few mistakes so whats ur problem!!!! *end off*

    ReplyDelete
  71. From the Author:

    Ladun, thank you for posting my letter.

    To all those who chipped in their words of advice, thank you and God bless you. Much appreciated.

    And to all those who lambasted me for being jobless and gossiping about 'affairs that are of no concern to me', thank you and God bless you also. I want to assume, if roles were reversed, and it was your good friend involved with a guy that had an affair with an older married woman - which you were unsure he had called off - whilst involved with several relationships alongside, you would 'mind your business' and not utter a peep to your friend, abi? Just asking. So, the 'no poke-nosing in relationship' rules apply only to men and not vice-versa?

    Ok o...I don hear una.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey Ogechi! I would like to send you an e mail.

      Delete
    2. @kerry Becareful o.Woman wey get fine face usually if not always get STINKIN' character o

      Delete
  72. Since ur friend asked 4 ur opinion, I think u should 1st ask him if d gel told him of the darkness in ha past, cos dats d only way u cn b sure she's changed 4 real nd is WILLING 2 b faithful 2 him, if she hasn't opened up 2 him, I think u should tell him everything u know....considering d fact dat he asked 4 ur opinion. And 4 dos of u judging people based on der past, and saying shit about KARMA, u know nothing, dat means u don't know about d grace of God....people actuali eat der cakes and still have it....God doesn't tnk like human beings.....and 4 dos ashewo aristo gels cumin here 2 bash d guy 2 mind his business, u ol r a hopeless bunch, U beta get a life nd stop sleeping around.....like dat dumb actress dat had d guts 2 b announcing dat she's pregnant 4 anoda man's hubby....I'm angry!!

    ReplyDelete
  73. What is it with babes who say bad things about their friends Τ☺ their guys...is it just Τ☺ look like saints?well,the fact that your wife told you this things about her friend's past simply means she's envious,and feels her friend isn't supposed Τ☺ be with a G=));)Đ man after whatever she did back at school....I know that right now u feel her only reason for telling you is cos you guys don't keep things from each other,but if you really dig deep,you'd be surprised at the amount of things she's keeping from you....I'm a lady,and I know what am talking about...ladies can be really dangerous....especially ones who prove Τ☺ be saints,they are the worst of all.....Am saying all this cos,every lady here (runs girl,saint girl or whatever)knows that no G=));)Đ friend tells her man anything bad about her friend except she has a hidden agenda....she knows the kind of person you are due Τ☺ the period you guys have spent together,she knows you won't ever allow such an issue rest without sorting it out...now,if she's the G=));)Đ friend she claims Τ☺ be by still telling you her friend is a nice person,even after slandering her,then why'd she tell you such a thing?knowing your kind of person. What am saying now might sound out of point Τ☺ you,but guy beware cos you are the one with a bad wife.....and about the main issue(if you should tell your friend or not),since u already know,and also claim Τ☺ be a G=));)Đ friend,then why not put it upon yourself Τ☺ find out if she's still dating the married man,and don't let me hear you say "what is your business o"cos it became your business when you started sitting with your wife Τ☺ talk about her friend who is also your friend's babe...so if u find out she's no longer with him,do not tell your friend anything,rather ♏‎​​​​​​​akƺ her realise that for her Τ☺ keep a healthy relationship,she should share her past with her partner(mind you,you shouldn't act like you heard anything cos it'd ♏‎​​​​​​​akƺ her hate your wife so much,just sound like someone giving his friend's babe an honest advice),and am sure he'd forgive her cos any guy(no matter how nice) that decides Τ☺ marry a girl who's not a virgin should be ready Τ☺ hear of her past....'BUT' if you find out she's still dating the man,then you must tell your friend.....As for your wife..BEWARE,I repeat.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. As a man I will say you are smart and reasonable. Don't mind that guy claiming to be a protector instead of him to find out more who his wife is with this plenty time he has.

      Delete
  74. You are right to have doubts and reservation about ur friend's gf.
    cos past behavior is a good predictor of future behavior which means, somepeople will tend to repeat their mistakes whilst some will learn from it.

    even if all u heard happens to be true,(all u have is hearsay from a second rate friend) the fact remains that ur friend is in love with her and might be deeply hurt by ur good intention.

    I would suggest u wait her out cos, it's only a matter of time before he finds out for himself her true character.

    As for ur wife, she 's not a good friend.cos friends don't run friends down.

    ReplyDelete
  75. shut ur mouth with your bad english, some people know what ur wife is doing/did and they haven't told you, therefore, leave them and let ur friend decide for himself

    ReplyDelete
  76. Dear concerned husband and friend, my spidey senses tell me that if your wife was friends with this girl and the friend was dating a married man, it is quite likely that your wife too also dated a married man. The truth remains the same, birds of a feather, do indeed flock together.
    Have you ever seen pigeons hanging out with chickens? Even if you scatter bird feed and all of them come running, after the feed has finished, the birds go back to their own. Your wife wasn't just feeding with her fellow bird, they've maintained a friendship past university days, there's a reason for it.
    So now, how would you feel if your wife's youthful indiscretions were shared with you? Like shit right? You still love her and she's still a good woman to you abi? So why would you want to your friend to go through that?
    Besides why are you so jobless that you're carrying this thing on your head like this? You don't have business of your own to mind?

    ReplyDelete
  77. This man you should mind your business it's just like a friend coming to you to come tell you your wife past, abi you dey deceive yourself she no get her own past, I begi

    ReplyDelete
  78. Let them be. What you don't know won't kill....
    And then again, there are VIRGIN WITCHES.
    Leave the happy guy alone.

    ReplyDelete
  79. Let them be. What you don't know won't kill....
    And then again, there are VIRGIN WITCHES.
    Leave the happy guy alone.

    ReplyDelete
  80. Let them be. What you don't know won't kill....
    And then again, there are VIRGIN WITCHES.
    Leave the happy guy alone.

    ReplyDelete